Install this theme
To Bowl or To Gutter

The day before yesterday was my sister’s 21st formal dinner/party. So what we did was get dressed up in formal attire, rent out the upstairs of an Olive Garden, and go glo-bowling afterwards. I have to admit, it was pretty much an awesome night! Of course knowing me, I had some difficulties at the bowling alley. So I have formulated a list of what not to do at a bowling alley.

Number 1- Try your hardest not to throw your ball into the wrong lane. That really was not my fault though. Some guys were trying to “teach” me how to bowl and that was the result of it. I did get a couple strikes bowling my way…. so HA!

Number 2- If you notice in the beginning that the holes in the ball are just a bit too small for your fingers, the best choice would be to stop using that ball. That last thing you want is to try to bowl and have that ball go no where because it is stuck on your freaking thumb! It scared me for a little bit because I thought we were going to have to get a fire department over there to get a bowling ball of my hand!

Number 3- If your shoes are too BIG. Don’t be lazy and just deal with it, go to the counter and ask for a smaller pair. That last thing you want is to trip with every step because there is about an inch of extra toe space that you are not used to walking with. I was the one who was being lazy…

Number 4- Try your hardest not to wear a long dress… Need I say more? First off I kept stepping on the back of my dress with my clown shoes and the back of my dress kept falling because I kept stepping on it! Not a comforting thing. If it is possible tie your dress short so you don’t trip on it all the time!

Number 5- If you are playing with a guy who is competitive. Don’t rub his gutter balls in his face…. You might get stern looks or the “cold shoulder” Not saying that is what happened. That is just for future purposes.

Number 6- Never get a nick name (as your bowling name) after a butt without knowing it. A couple of years ago I wanted “Phantom” as a name for my bowling name, but it wouldn’t fit so I thought well let’s shorten it…. hmmm. .. I got it! Phanny! It never occurred to me that it was a butt. So.. always double-check your name. I got a new name.. PB and Jam. I guess it was clever.

Number 7- The bowling lanes are NOT meant to be stepped on…. they oil it. I am just saying from experience.

Number 8- When you go to bowl try not to wind your arm so far back… You may not be able to hold it. Then when it is in the air behind you it just falls making a really loud noise. The kind where everyone looks to see what just happened. Then they become thankful that it wasn’t them who just dropped the ball!

Number 9- Always look before you sit on a chair… there could be food on it, or other stuff.

Number 10- ALWAYS find a SECLUDED area to take off your shoes… I don’t know why but bowling shoes always stink! Probably because of the ten million people who stuck their feet in it before you… ewe.

-J.M.